This post is for those of us who worry we aren't enough, even when we start off feeling okay about ourselves.
It's food for thought for those of us who get down on ourselves, and sabotage an upbeat mood by comparing our insides to someone else’s outside.
It's food for thought for those of us who get down on ourselves, and sabotage an upbeat mood by comparing our insides to someone else’s outside.
Can you relate?
When I was in my twenties, I thought caring for my family, taking on greater responsibilities at work and in the community, and leading a busy life would fill the emptiness I often felt inside.
Then in my thirties, I noticed making money, having a degree and career, and receiving praise from others, didn't make me feel I was a valuable human being.
To compound things, my lack of self-compassion influenced the choices I made, and led to behaviors that further damaged my sense
of self-worth.
Are you still with me?
Self-doubt about my right to a place in the world, only made me feel more anxious, gloomy, and dejected.
Self-doubt about my right to a place in the world, only made me feel more anxious, gloomy, and dejected.
How I Discovered I am Enough
In my early forties, at a low point in my life, I felt intense emotional pain. My rocky first marriage had ended, and I was anxious about how my family would survive.
Fear and courage compelled me to journal write, and try to sort out my options.
Soon I noticed that expressing my thoughts, feelings, and reactions to happenings of the day in a journal, gave me a way to diffuse the negative energy I felt was trapped inside.
That helped a lot, but I wanted to feel even better. I searched out and added additional self-care practices to my daily routine, and slowly began to feel stronger and empowered.
That's why this quotation from Joan Halifax's book Standing at the Edge: Finding Freedom Where Fear and Courage Meet resonates with me.
Today, as a result of my steadfast effort to show up for myself, I've replaced damaging self-talk and self-defeating people-pleasing behavior with authenticity. I've gained confidence in my own worth, and like myself just the way I am.
Each day begins fresh and new, as I follow through with mindful self-care.
I know for sure...
I invite you to come along with me to try out the 9 practices I outline below for a three week trial. By then, you'll be able to see which ones help you feel peace of mind, motivate you to keep on keeping on, and renews your faith in yourself.
Fear and courage compelled me to journal write, and try to sort out my options.
Soon I noticed that expressing my thoughts, feelings, and reactions to happenings of the day in a journal, gave me a way to diffuse the negative energy I felt was trapped inside.
That helped a lot, but I wanted to feel even better. I searched out and added additional self-care practices to my daily routine, and slowly began to feel stronger and empowered.
That's why this quotation from Joan Halifax's book Standing at the Edge: Finding Freedom Where Fear and Courage Meet resonates with me.
"Living systems that break down
can reorganize at a higher and more robust level, if they learn from the
breakdown experience."
Today, as a result of my steadfast effort to show up for myself, I've replaced damaging self-talk and self-defeating people-pleasing behavior with authenticity. I've gained confidence in my own worth, and like myself just the way I am.
Each day begins fresh and new, as I follow through with mindful self-care.
I know for sure...
I am a healthy person with bountiful life and you can have that too!
Consistent self-care is how I got here, and...
How to Recognize You Are Enough
At least once or twice a day, check in with yourself to listen to the stories you tell yourself about you. Get in touch with your desires, emotions, body sensations, and beliefs. Look for at least five things you consider assets, challenges, successes, and dreams. List them without judging them good or bad.
Embrace who you are right now, without any qualifications, conditions, or
exceptions. Affirm you are enough.
Early in my recovery, I learned to treat myself with kindness, care, and consideration. PLEASE do that too.
Best Way to Take an "I am Enough Inventory"
This is a good idea, because shame and guilt may actually send you deeper into a slump. Research shows that asking questions instead of ordering yourself around is a more effective way to create self-knowledge.
When you catch your inner critic shouting accusations, reframe thoughts by asking: “What ways can I convert this noise into an information gathering opportunity?”
1. Reserve time to journal. Writing with pen on paper grounds you to the present moment and helps you recognize distress or comfort in mind, body, and spirit. Journal writing is a meaningful way to check your emotional temperature, note progress, and supports self-discovery. See Journal Prompts to Boost Self-confidence for more.
In fact, I suggest you order a copy of the guided journal, Colors of Joy: A Woman's Guide for Self-Discovery, Balance, and Bliss.
Its color-coded journal activities, affirmations, 12 weeks' worth of self-care journal prompts, and space for writing and reflection are designed to boost self-esteem and help you feel joy in daily living.
In fact, I suggest you order a copy of the guided journal, Colors of Joy: A Woman's Guide for Self-Discovery, Balance, and Bliss.
Its color-coded journal activities, affirmations, 12 weeks' worth of self-care journal prompts, and space for writing and reflection are designed to boost self-esteem and help you feel joy in daily living.
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| Colors of Joy has Journal Activities to Boost Self-Esteem Order it Now |
2. Explore meditative practices. Mediation techniques including breath work and body scans, yoga, affirmations and visualizations, mindful eating, reflection, and walks in nature can help you experience the richness in yourself and your surroundings, through your senses.
If you aren't familiar with one or the other of these self-care practices, take a class, read a book, or get a pro to show you the ropes.
3. Use mindfulness daily. House cleaning and laundry, food prep, child care, exercise, and alone and family time are enriching experiences if done mindfully. Even the colors you choose to wear can have an uplifting effect.
Living in the now creates calm and balance in you, and helps you be present for yourself, others, and the tasks at hand.
If you aren't familiar with one or the other of these self-care practices, take a class, read a book, or get a pro to show you the ropes.
3. Use mindfulness daily. House cleaning and laundry, food prep, child care, exercise, and alone and family time are enriching experiences if done mindfully. Even the colors you choose to wear can have an uplifting effect.
Living in the now creates calm and balance in you, and helps you be present for yourself, others, and the tasks at hand.
4. Contemplate gratitude. When you make a gratitude list, whether it's a mental or actual written one, you focus on positives in your life. Put an appreciative spin on everything by reading tips to draw more gratitude into your day.
6. Meet your needs first. When you care for mind, body, and spirit, you're more likely to do things that bring you satisfaction, and follow through on actions to improve your sense of well-being. Make wellness a priority and persist with self-care.
7. Hang out with the winners. Develop mutually supportive relationships with a few good people or many, depending on individual preferences. People need other people, and reaching out to socialize and get and give support is good for mental and physical health. Spending time with family or friends reduces stress and may even lower your risk of dementia.
8. Detach from energy drains. Say "no" to people, places, and things that disrupt serenity. Being around negativity increases tension, so for wellness don't take on anything that goes against personal ethics, values, or instincts. Get in the habit of letting go of small things, before they become bigger problems.
5. Be physically active and health aware. Incorporate aerobics, stretching, weight lifting, and balancing activities into daily
routine. Exercise elevates mood, gets your heart pumping, and can give you the
spark that inspires you to take better care of yourself in other areas of your life. Learn how walking is a step in the right direction. Then find out how adopting a plant-based eating plan can make life healthy and lively.
6. Meet your needs first. When you care for mind, body, and spirit, you're more likely to do things that bring you satisfaction, and follow through on actions to improve your sense of well-being. Make wellness a priority and persist with self-care.
7. Hang out with the winners. Develop mutually supportive relationships with a few good people or many, depending on individual preferences. People need other people, and reaching out to socialize and get and give support is good for mental and physical health. Spending time with family or friends reduces stress and may even lower your risk of dementia.
8. Detach from energy drains. Say "no" to people, places, and things that disrupt serenity. Being around negativity increases tension, so for wellness don't take on anything that goes against personal ethics, values, or instincts. Get in the habit of letting go of small things, before they become bigger problems.
9. Develop a generous, loving attitude. Put your focus on loving kindness. Allow those good vibrations to help you remain non-judgmental, and love and approve of yourself and others wholeheartedly.
Please comment below and click publish.
If you are dealing with low self-esteem now or have dealt with it in the past, what helped you treat yourself with tender loving care (TLC)? Please share how you do it.
Have any tips about how you fit self-care into a full life?
I appreciate and read every comment, but do not publish them if you add links. Thanks for understanding.
More About Improving Self-love:
Molly Mahar the blogger from Stratejoy.com has found
"Before any reinventing or forward movement, we must start from a strong, loving, secure base of self-worth. If we don’t believe we are deserving of a big bold bright existence, it will never happen. And what I’m finding and exploring more and more is that this self-love, this ability to believe we are deserving, boils down to the ability to declare 'I am enough.' ”
"Before any reinventing or forward movement, we must start from a strong, loving, secure base of self-worth. If we don’t believe we are deserving of a big bold bright existence, it will never happen. And what I’m finding and exploring more and more is that this self-love, this ability to believe we are deserving, boils down to the ability to declare 'I am enough.' ”
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Please comment below and click publish.
If you are dealing with low self-esteem now or have dealt with it in the past, what helped you treat yourself with tender loving care (TLC)? Please share how you do it.
Have any tips about how you fit self-care into a full life?
I appreciate and read every comment, but do not publish them if you add links. Thanks for understanding.
If you'd be so kind, reshare on social media. Many people struggle with this issue, and your social share may be supportive to someone who needs it.
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This post has been shared at midlife-share-the-love-party-69 My post is #11
This post has been shared at happiness-is-homemade My post is #55
This post has been shared at pretty-pintastic-party-263 My post is #156
