It's food for thought for those of us who get down on ourselves, and sabotage an upbeat mood by comparing our insides to someone else’s outside.
Then in my thirties, I noticed making money, having a degree and career, and receiving praise from others, didn't make me feel I was a valuable human being.
Self-doubt about my right to a place in the world, only made me feel more anxious, gloomy, and dejected.
How I Discovered I am Enough
Fear and courage compelled me to journal write, and try to sort out my options.
Soon I noticed that expressing my thoughts, feelings, and reactions to happenings of the day in a journal, gave me a way to diffuse the negative energy I felt was trapped inside.
That helped a lot, but I wanted to feel even better. I searched out and added additional self-care practices to my daily routine, and slowly began to feel stronger and empowered.
That's why this quotation from Joan Halifax's book Standing at the Edge: Finding Freedom Where Fear and Courage Meet resonates with me.
Today, as a result of my steadfast effort to show up for myself, I've replaced damaging self-talk and self-defeating people-pleasing behavior with authenticity. I've gained confidence in my own worth, and like myself just the way I am.
Each day begins fresh and new, as I follow through with mindful self-care.
I know for sure...
I am a healthy person with bountiful life and you can have that too!
Consistent self-care is how I got here, and...
How to Recognize You Are Enough
At least once or twice a day, check in with yourself to listen to the stories you tell yourself about you. Get in touch with your desires, emotions, body sensations, and beliefs. Look for at least five things you consider assets, challenges, successes, and dreams. List them without judging them good or bad.
Early in my recovery, I learned to treat myself with kindness, care, and consideration. PLEASE do that too.
This is a good idea, because shame and guilt may actually send you deeper into a slump. Research shows that asking questions instead of ordering yourself around is a more effective way to create self-knowledge.
In fact, I suggest you order a copy of the guided journal, Colors of Joy: A Woman's Guide for Self-Discovery, Balance, and Bliss.
Its color-coded journal activities, affirmations, 12 weeks' worth of self-care journal prompts, and space for writing and reflection are designed to boost self-esteem and help you feel joy in daily living.
|Colors of Joy has Journal Activities to Boost Self-Esteem|
Order it Now
If you aren't familiar with one or the other of these self-care practices, take a class, read a book, or get a pro to show you the ropes.
3. Use mindfulness daily. House cleaning and laundry, food prep, child care, exercise, and alone and family time are enriching experiences if done mindfully. Even the colors you choose to wear can have an uplifting effect.
Living in the now creates calm and balance in you, and helps you be present for yourself, others, and the tasks at hand.
6. Meet your needs first. When you care for mind, body, and spirit, you're more likely to do things that bring you satisfaction, and follow through on actions to improve your sense of well-being. Make wellness a priority and persist with self-care.
7. Hang out with the winners. Develop mutually supportive relationships with a few good people or many, depending on individual preferences. People need other people, and reaching out to socialize and get and give support is good for mental and physical health. Spending time with family or friends reduces stress and may even lower your risk of dementia.
8. Detach from energy drains. Say "no" to people, places, and things that disrupt serenity. Being around negativity increases tension, so for wellness don't take on anything that goes against personal ethics, values, or instincts. Get in the habit of letting go of small things, before they become bigger problems.
"Before any reinventing or forward movement, we must start from a strong, loving, secure base of self-worth. If we don’t believe we are deserving of a big bold bright existence, it will never happen. And what I’m finding and exploring more and more is that this self-love, this ability to believe we are deserving, boils down to the ability to declare 'I am enough.' ”
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If you are dealing with low self-esteem now or have dealt with it in the past, what helped you treat yourself with tender loving care (TLC)? Please share how you do it.
Have any tips about how you fit self-care into a full life?
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