Gather round those of us who worry we aren't enough. This applies to even those who start off feeling okay about themselves.
This post has been updated 5/5/2022
This post is food for thought for those who get down on themselves. We may make the mistake of comparing ourselves to others and come up short. Can you relate? 😕
This post is food for thought for those who get down on themselves. We may make the mistake of comparing ourselves to others and come up short. Can you relate? 😕
When I was in my twenties, I thought caring for my family, taking on greater responsibility at work and in the community, and leading a busy life would fill the emptiness I often felt inside. It didn't.
Then in my thirties, I noticed that despite making money, having a degree and career, and receiving praise from others, I didn't feel I was a valuable human being.
To compound things, my lack of self-compassion influenced the choices I made, and led to behaviors that further damaged my sense
of self-worth.
Are you still with me?
Self-doubt about my right to a place in the world, only made me feel more anxious, gloomy, and dejected.
Self-doubt about my right to a place in the world, only made me feel more anxious, gloomy, and dejected.
How I Discovered I am Enough
In my early forties, at a low point in my life, I felt intense emotional pain. My rocky first marriage had ended, and I was anxious about how my family would survive.
Fear and courage compelled me to journal write, and try to sort out my options.
Soon I noticed that expressing my thoughts, feelings, and reactions to happenings of the day in a journal, gave me a way to diffuse the negative energy I felt was trapped inside.
I journaled about my goals and dreams, and the recorded progress I made. This motivated me to search for and adopt additional self-care practices that eventually helped me feel stronger and more empowered.
That's why this quotation from Joan Halifax's book Standing at the Edge: Finding Freedom Where Fear and Courage Meet resonates with me.
Today, as a result of my steadfast effort to show up for myself, I've replaced damaging self-talk and self-defeating people-pleasing behavior with authenticity.
I've gained confidence in my own worth, and like myself just the way I am.
Each day begins fresh and new, as I follow through with mindful self-care.
I know for sure...
I invite you to come along with me to try out the 9 practices I outline below for a three week trial.
Fear and courage compelled me to journal write, and try to sort out my options.
Soon I noticed that expressing my thoughts, feelings, and reactions to happenings of the day in a journal, gave me a way to diffuse the negative energy I felt was trapped inside.
I journaled about my goals and dreams, and the recorded progress I made. This motivated me to search for and adopt additional self-care practices that eventually helped me feel stronger and more empowered.
That's why this quotation from Joan Halifax's book Standing at the Edge: Finding Freedom Where Fear and Courage Meet resonates with me.
"Living systems that break down
can reorganize at a higher and more robust level, if they learn from the
breakdown experience."
Today, as a result of my steadfast effort to show up for myself, I've replaced damaging self-talk and self-defeating people-pleasing behavior with authenticity.
I've gained confidence in my own worth, and like myself just the way I am.
Each day begins fresh and new, as I follow through with mindful self-care.
I know for sure...
I am a healthy person with a bountiful life
You can have that too!
Consistent self-care is how I got here, and ...
By then, you'll be able to see which ones increase peace of mind, motivate you to keep on keeping on, and renews your faith in yourself.
How to Recognize You Are Enough
At least once or twice a day, check in with yourself to listen to the stories you tell yourself about you.
Get in touch with your desires, emotions, body sensations, and
beliefs. Look for at least five things you consider assets, challenges, successes, and dreams. List them without judging them good or bad.
Early in my recovery, I learned to treat myself with kindness, care, and consideration. PLEASE do that too.
If you are a perfectionist, "should" yourself, or treat yourself harshly, request help from a friend or counselor to work through your personal inventory.
This is a good idea, because shame and guilt may actually send you deeper into a slump.
Embrace who you are right now, without any qualifications, conditions, or
exceptions. Affirm you are enough.
Early in my recovery, I learned to treat myself with kindness, care, and consideration. PLEASE do that too.
Best Way to Take an "I am Enough Inventory"
This is a good idea, because shame and guilt may actually send you deeper into a slump.
Research shows that asking questions instead of ordering yourself around is a more effective way to create self-knowledge.
When you catch your inner critic shouting accusations, reframe thoughts by asking: “What ways can I convert this noise into an information gathering opportunity?”
1. Reserve time to journal. Writing with pen on paper grounds you to the present moment and helps you recognize distress or comfort in mind, body, and spirit.
Journal writing is a meaningful way to check your emotional temperature, note progress, and supports self-discovery. See Journal Prompts to Boost Self-confidence for more.
Journal writing is a meaningful way to check your emotional temperature, note progress, and supports self-discovery. See Journal Prompts to Boost Self-confidence for more.
2. Explore meditative practices. Mediation techniques including breath work and body scans, yoga, affirmations and visualizations, mindful eating, reflection, and walks in nature can help you experience the richness in yourself and your surroundings, through your senses.
If you aren't familiar with one or the other of these self-care practices, take a class, read a book, or get a pro to show you the ropes.
3. Use mindfulness daily. House cleaning and laundry, food prep, child care, exercise, and alone and family time are enriching experiences if done mindfully. Even the colors you choose to wear can have an uplifting effect.
Living in the now creates calm and balance in you, and helps you be present for yourself, others, and the tasks at hand.
If you aren't familiar with one or the other of these self-care practices, take a class, read a book, or get a pro to show you the ropes.
3. Use mindfulness daily. House cleaning and laundry, food prep, child care, exercise, and alone and family time are enriching experiences if done mindfully. Even the colors you choose to wear can have an uplifting effect.
Living in the now creates calm and balance in you, and helps you be present for yourself, others, and the tasks at hand.
4. Contemplate gratitude. When you make a gratitude list, whether it's a mental or actual written one, you focus on positives in your life. Put an appreciative spin on everything by reading tips to draw more gratitude into your day.
6. Meet your needs first. When you care for mind, body, and spirit, you're more likely to do things that bring you satisfaction, and follow through on actions to improve your sense of well-being.
When you're mindful to take good care of your own needs, you have renewed energy to be there for others. Just remember, to make wellness a priority and persist with self-care.
7. Hang out with the winners. Develop mutually supportive relationships with a few good people or many, depending on individual preferences.
People need other people, and reaching out to socialize and get and give support is good for mental and physical health.
Spending time with family or friends reduces stress and may even lower your risk of dementia.
8. Detach from energy drains. Say "no" to people, places, and things that disrupt serenity. Being around negativity increases tension, so for wellness don't take on anything that goes against personal ethics, values, or instincts.
Get in the habit of letting go of small things, before they become bigger problems.
5. Be physically active and health aware. Incorporate aerobics, stretching, weight lifting, and balancing activities into daily
routine. Exercise elevates mood, gets your heart pumping, and can give you the
spark that inspires you to take better care of yourself in other areas of your life.
Learn how walking is a step in the right direction. Then find out how adopting a plant-based eating plan can make life healthy and lively.
Learn how walking is a step in the right direction. Then find out how adopting a plant-based eating plan can make life healthy and lively.
6. Meet your needs first. When you care for mind, body, and spirit, you're more likely to do things that bring you satisfaction, and follow through on actions to improve your sense of well-being.
When you're mindful to take good care of your own needs, you have renewed energy to be there for others. Just remember, to make wellness a priority and persist with self-care.
7. Hang out with the winners. Develop mutually supportive relationships with a few good people or many, depending on individual preferences.
People need other people, and reaching out to socialize and get and give support is good for mental and physical health.
Spending time with family or friends reduces stress and may even lower your risk of dementia.
8. Detach from energy drains. Say "no" to people, places, and things that disrupt serenity. Being around negativity increases tension, so for wellness don't take on anything that goes against personal ethics, values, or instincts.
Get in the habit of letting go of small things, before they become bigger problems.
9. Develop a generous, loving attitude. Put your focus on loving kindness. Allow those good vibrations to help you remain non-judgmental, and love and approve of yourself and others wholeheartedly.
Please comment below and click publish.
If you are dealing with low self-image now or have dealt with it in the past, what helped you treat yourself with tender loving care (TLC)? Please share how you do it.
Have any tips about how you fit self-care into a full life?
I appreciate and read every comment, but do not publish them if you add links. Thanks for understanding.
More About Improving Self-love:
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Please comment below and click publish.
If you are dealing with low self-image now or have dealt with it in the past, what helped you treat yourself with tender loving care (TLC)? Please share how you do it.
Have any tips about how you fit self-care into a full life?
I appreciate and read every comment, but do not publish them if you add links. Thanks for understanding.
If you'd be so kind, share on social media with a link back to this post.
Many people struggle with low self-esteem, and your social share of this post may be supportive to someone who needs it.
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